Last night I got involved in the @weNurses twitter chat. As it’s carer’s week they were shining a light on what is often invisibilised work.
The choice of the word invisibilised is purposeful. In a supportive team it’s a gateway to support and a different perspective on what can sometimes become fraught.
When I was seconded it was an entirely different experience. One where I was made to feel like an inconvenience, like I was being unreasonably demanding, management had no interest in the reassuring comments that where made supporting my flexibility.
I’ve said before how the flexibility on both sides increased a sense of commitment. I had teaching to do on set days. I could work round that and make appointments that fitted in but as appointments become more frequent and the need for extra support unmet, lurching from crisis to crisis it makes work untenable without adequate support.
Last night the word duty was mentioned. When those around you (family and work) don’t recognise any sense of responsibility it makes any carer’s role more challenging. Not to mention the tension created by having to justify why I’m not doing other things.
I don’t want to be my cousin’s carer. I want my life back but the constant worry about how precarious her situation is often doesn’t give me the luxury of head space for anything else.
I’ve Nursed people in this situation. Locked into ‘caring’ roles because there is no one else. I’ve seen the damage it does to both the person being cared for and the carer. What is the answer to this as our population gets older, needs greater?
I worry about this as I walk around our town, notice how many people just look uncared for, look like they could do with a bit of of a hand and I’m reminded of what I know of our culture. How we don’t ask for help, see it as a weakness, don’t except benefits on offer. I’m not sure what we can do about that. All part of our racial trauma.
Perhaps when we can recognise our worth? See that reflected by world leaders priorities? See it in work places and community?
It’s the G7 or is it 8 a world away from here. Will world leaders recognise their duties to their population? Focus on climate change, equity and health? Leave the self serving lies behind as they paddle in the water. Feel the sand between their toes. Commit to each other to hold one another to account. A race to embody the best of humanity? Worthy of respect as yet undeserved.
Know that you’ve done badly. We want better. Don’t want to see children growing up with bombs, reliving their parents trauma.
I’m mindful of a mistake I made. Felt sick in the pit of my stomach when I realised. A mistake that was made worse by the culture I found myself in but my mistake never the less. Nurses have a duty of candour. It’s uncomfortable when you feel the consequences, have to speak to those affected. Worse for those harmed.
Where I worked we had to complete a reflection so that we all get to learn what went wrong, try to avoid repeating any part that could be prevented, avoid further harm. Will our leaders do that I wonder?
Vaccine equity but so much more