Sixteen hungry people queuing for sandwiches in the hot sun. A baby in a pushchair and I think of what our government means when they speak of so called leveling up.
We went for a coffee and a tea. Bought a cooler dress for the funeral from one of the local charity shops.
Listened to the anguish of not knowing what comes next. Reassured about the appointments, tried to advise about those sunburnt blisters on her neck. Searched for a suitable hat or perhaps a light scarf…all declined, focused on the worries, no head space for anything else. At least she’s put on the sunscreen…
Plans to sit in the sun this afternoon… and I think of the disassociation of the body caused by psychological trauma, the marginalisation that she’s experienced.
Just the five phone calls since since I left her with the carer. Pressing me in the way she does. A shame after our pleasant morning. That’s the thing, it’s never enough. She’s scared because she doesn’t have a plan for this afternoon, frightened of being alone, needing to fill ever hour, always watching the clock. Rejecting my offer, then taking it up. Backwards and forwards, undecided. Until I’ve had enough. Hard to keep my patience, then knowing when is enough before we get into the old familiar ground.
Bunny’s eating the rhubarb, oblivious to the harm, she’s under the bushes in the shade. I shoe her off, she’s back to biting her back, settled into the coolness.
I’m surprised at how. Phone.
I hate it when she goes on and on.
Anyway I was going to say surprised at how many people in the sea. Not the children now. Just the oldies like me, perhaps a few a little younger. Quite fancied a dip but better let that ham sandwich go down.
That’s off now. She’s coming round. Agreed to a scarf with the carer it seems. At least I can try and keep her in the shade, stop those blisters from getting any worse. Aim to keep her hydrated…
I missed the baker’s. Perhaps they’ve changed their days?
In doors is cool, feeling the benefit of those early morning gusts, blasting cold air through the house. Though we can find a shady spot out here.
Better get on with trying to rearrange that appointment. I really want to go to the funeral, sods law it should fall on the same day!
It’s going to be outside, loud speakers from the church for the service then laid to rest. A young woman who didn’t expect to die. She doesn’t have a Will which will add to the family’s complication. That disconnect between the hoped for life and the one that was. Or wasn’t in her case. I hope someone is mindful of her wishes if they were known. I wonder about her beloved cats…
https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/office-of-the-public-guardian
A HMRC scam on the phone telling me how I’m subject to an investigation. Yes I’ve heard about that one. An automated non sense call.
A friend of mine yesterday posted all sorts of none sense about the virus. And so it continues. Misinformation unchanged since last year. I’m pissed off with having to debunk this rubbish.
I had my second vaccination, it was fine. Not even a bruise this time. A couple of weeks and I should be covered. Husband booked in to have his second one soon.
I heard the other day the Delta variant is causing trouble here. Rising hospitalisations of those who didn’t think the virus applied to them.
So we’re sticking with our handwashing when we get in and all the other precautions because having had a post viral infection before I’m not up for that.
Now I really must sort out that appointment.