I read an article in @galdemzine (gal-dem.com) while I was waiting for the family zoom to start. Niellah Arboine writes about “caring for plants as a way to care for myself”. It’s a beautiful article in which Niellah reminisces childhood gardening and how stories were passed on.
I remember a story my Mum used to tell. She and her brother were children arguing over who got to use the spade and who got to use the fork for digging in the garden. She got so cross with him she said “have the bloody fork” and slammed it down; accidently through his foot! I think she carried a lot of shame about that. I just remember being concerned about the potential for tetanus. I think that was why she told the story teaching me about how to keep myself and those around me safe. Here’s some more info about it if you want to know more Tetanus – NHS (www.nhs.uk) . We had an ancestor die of diphtheria so we’ve always been pro vaccination, not something we see these days here. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/diphtheria/
Translated more broadly into community, it would seem, what with those queues locally for covid vaccination I saw as I walked passed this week.
Lots of excitement on the family zoom, with the recent storm dinosaur footprints were uncovered so they are now in their local museum. It’s on our list to go and visit at some point. We find things here too, this was from ages ago Children find rare fossilised tooth belonging to prehistoric ocean giant | Essex Wildlife Trust (essexwt.org.uk) but we have found sharks teeth on our local beaches.
The children have been doing a project at school and so were asking what chores people did. My sister talked about having to clean the bath and my sister in law helped in their shop and served dinner to their lodgers, made the beds and cleaned the rooms ready for guests at their guesthouse.
She shared stories of teaching the dog to climb a ladder and how to sing. My Dad had a dog as a child. When Grandad died, his dog (who like our rabbit used to regularly jump on the table) was taken in by my Aunty. Her house was full of delicate little stained glass ornaments…I can just imagine!
My brothers talked about chopping firewood, getting the coal in, taking the ashes out, cleaning shoes on a Sunday and doing the brass.
I remember having to clean the brass and the silver trophies. What a boring smelly job! I also used to make the faggots for the fire. I don’t think that’s an ok word now but just then it was the name for newspaper sheets that were twisted and knotted to use as fire starters. I didn’t mind that job. I taught my children how to make them…just in case there is ever a need. I also had to sweep the hearth.
Our children have to keep their bedrooms clean and tidy, put their laundry away…erm…a work in progress. We’re trying to teach them to be self sufficient, ready for the time they’re off to university. I’m proud of their time management skills, how our son can do his washing and ironing, how well he can cook…he’s preparing the dinner as I write.
Youngest not so interested in some of those things. Much like me. I remember how my friend cooked a roast dinner at thirteen. So different from me. The first dinner I ever cooked was a Christmas dinner for twelve! That was just a little bit stressful, but it turned out fine. At least I knew how to make inheritance gravy! I have a vague feeling that I’ve written about this before. Weird isn’t it when you’ve told a story so often that you forget who you were speaking to when you told it. Plus of course psychological trauma messes up memory. Anyway back to the zoom.
We were told about how 900 workers had to go into isolation because one worker didn’t do the right thing and with covid on the rise again their boarders are shut. They’re sad at not being able to meet up, any plans to travel are now on hold again. They’re thinking of paying for a meal so that the family who can be together get to have some special time. We didn’t get to hear the children play their instruments but the concert went well and their Dad received the photos. Here we couldn’t go to sports day but we’re going to an inside concert. I’m not sure how that makes sense but at least the concert aims to be covid secure with adequate ventilation and spacing, tickets limited.
Meanwhile of course our health secretary has resigned, something about some revealing emails another one breaking the rules they created. The Good Law Project are compiling a case, evidence mounting by the day. I wonder if it will make any difference to that particular team and their accountability to the public, the ones who pay their wages. My experience is that whistle blowers come off worse, even people trying to do the right thing. Perhaps that’s changed? In London we have people marching against lockdowns, not that a virus cares about that and a Dr reported to the GMC for suggesting people wear a mask. I self referred to the NMC after all I too suggested a mask was a good plan after I saw what was happening elsewhere before the evidence was out. Is doing better possible? Where is the space for doing the right thing, innovation? There is optimism in some of the posts I’ve seen, a possibility of a different way of being, Black feminists in the global south leading the way, we have lots to learn about collaboration, non binary thinking, our history. Yes I’m still reading Alex’s book Life Isn’t Binary : On Being Both, Beyond, and in-Between: Alex Iantaffi: 9781785924798: hive.co.uk embracing the complexity in life, trying to learn.
With the usual holiday on hold their off on a road trip 1,000km to go and see some Whales. How exciting. Memories of a basking shark off…was it Wales or Cornwall…Did you see a French company are doing sleeper trains? I’m so excited about that. Always fancied the Tran Siberian express, something more? Perhaps a plan for retirement.
It reminded me of a friend. Every year she packs the family up and heads off, not quite knowing where they’ll go to. One year it was one disaster after another. Tents blown away, terrible weather, reversing into a post, car conking out. She posted daily updates, you couldn’t make it up. Everyone cold and wet, there was anger, there were tears but also warm cups of tea, hugs and make shift arrangements. It was hilarious, the stuff of legends. Turns out in retrospect it was the best holiday ever! Funny how things turn out. Different to the life changing effects of covid, ongoing consequences. Makes me wonder how life will have to change, especially with global warming.
Apparently they are off to chose the new chickens next week.
Some of us wondering with their group whether to swim the channel. Lists of regulations, what with it being the busiest shipping lane in the world. We were talking about the babies learning to swim and we were reminded of how Dad was obsessed with that. Now they splash babies faces, try to develop reflexes to keep safe from drowning, learn how to float. In my sister’s day they just used to throw you off the side of the groyne or in my nieces case off the side of the boat, tied to a length of rope. Good to hear it’s a bit more gentle now, why did we laugh in the face of such fear and sorrow? Our shared trauma that needs to be healed? Have you seen this? Revealing what has been hidden? The power of love and healing? I’m hopeful it’ll be on essential reading lists Living While Black : The Essential Guide to Overcoming Racial Trauma: Guilaine Kinouani: 9781529109436: hive.co.uk
My cousin and I didn’t get to swim this week though plenty of people did. It’s windy today so we’ll give it a miss but it’s on the list. I remember how I took her swimming, long before covid. How she was so afraid. How we talked together to make it feel safe and enjoyable, worked within our shared limitations, swimming into a different way of being an activity shared, the possibility of an unprecedented kind of laughter.