A whole load of chaffinches appeared just as we were starting our zoom, a big distraction. They talked about how only the prettiest of birds were taken to the colonises but we like our sparrows and starlings.
When I was growing up there was a widow living alone, her garden and roof top always covered in starlings, it made us afraid. How weird when you think about it, to be fearful of someone living alone. I remember her dressed in black. I just remember taking cakes round and leaving them on the doorstep, too afraid to wait for her to open up.
The siblings are teasing each other, arguing over who is spraying perfume in another’s room. I stop to intervene, we’ve not long got in, only now sitting to write. All quiet now, I’m at a loss to know what it was about, oh ok, that makes sense. They just need to give each other space, not interfere with each others things.
Where was I. There’s a heaviness in the zoom despite the freedom now to travel. One after another argue how nothing makes sense, ongoing inconsistencies. There’s gloom and silence, a sense of abandonment. Calm indignation. Internalised indignation? Our pathology?
I’m held to account about how we travelled to London. No we weren’t there to spread covid about. We wore our masks, kept our distance, used our hand sanitizer but yes we saw those with no concern for others, like it’s all over. Felt uncomfortable as we sat in a restaurant crammed in like sardines, choose that rather than sitting outside in the cold, not perhaps the wisest of choices. There were no windows to open.
We heard about strict measures in a hair dressers none in the supermarket, how we were surprised at how few were wearing masks on the train yet at the same time learning of queuing ambulances, nothing makes sense, more sewage into the water like we’ve learnt nothing about public health. Nothing makes sense anymore. Why do we feel so powerless? Historic? and now?
We talk about the rules and regulations of swimming the channel no coincidence perhaps that feeling of needing to run far away, escape from here.
On a brighter note we learn about a new laundry rota. Not everyone so keen but started nevertheless.
There’s news of a house being knocked down to make way for a new luxury dwelling, we’re shocked at the ‘longevity’ of housing, thirty five years doesn’t sound long enough when you consider the energy to build it.
A sad remembrance at a left behind doll and questions over what to do with stuff that is treasured by some, rubbish to others. The burden older people put on younger dealing with their stuff when they’re gone.
With a pang of guilt about a suitcase in the loft with my nephews name on it I hastily say do what you will, I’ll be dead anyway.
There are a hundred and sixty litres of stamps to deal with and I smile to myself. I didn’t know you measure stamps in litres. Learn something new every day. Do you measure stamps in litres?
A diary is composted which sounds a shame and I tell them how I’m writing a blog. Just crap that comes up to be spilt out rather than holding on to.
Yesterday there was a thing about followers and how if you want to grow a business followers are a must. I’m uninterested but hope to leave no one behind. Unsure where I’m going with this. Much like government there is no plan, just like a shire horse ploughing on regardless.
My sibling reminded me of some dolls they bought. A doll from each port. Some of them still in our loft, a little worse for wear but dolls in National costume. We learn about a knitted doll with ginger hair and the conversation moves on to the half siblings, newly discovered. A bogy man in that box I remember as my mind wanderers back to that box.
I remember standing as a child at the top of the stairs looking into the dark hall below, half expecting that bogyman to jump out at me. Once up to bed, we didn’t come down such was that fear. Funny the things I remember.
Anyway, it’s been half term here, this and next week. The children made jam and snacks for bunny.
We’ve been bowling today. My cousin likes bowling so I suggested she might like to do it regularly, could take her carer to the Pavilion bowl too but the problem is she says they won’t like to do that. It’s a shame because they have this cheap day for the over 50’s it’s on Friday’s I think so plenty of time to arrange it as they are coming anyway. Anyway, just a thought.
She came joint second today, out of the four of us, so good at bowling. We went to the end of the pier afterwards, that blew the cobwebs away
